Bringing down the walls: Learning from within

I’ve recently started a unit through Open Universities Australia from Murdoch Uni, SSK12 How to Study and University. The information and learning have been fantastic. And whilst the title may sound like an easy way to gain 8 credit points, the information is interesting, informative and designed help an individual begin to grasp how the University environment requires them to think.

The unit requires reflection on your personal learning as you progress through weeks. Part of the challenge to participants, and this includes me, is not just the new information and skills we need to grapple with, but the idea that we need to examine our own thoughts as we travel through. I think about thinking regularly, but I still find this a challenge. If I am to reflect on my own thoughts, I need to be honest enough with myself to look behind the shallow walls that I have erected through my life.

We all build walls and facades in our thinking and filter information through the experiences and prejudices that we carry with us on this journey. The classic line in communication of “People don’t hear what you say, they hear what they think you said” bears out the reality of the previous statement. The question I find myself forced to ask is, “Is it only what I hear said to me or is it my own thoughts that I filter through these same beliefs, prejudices and world views?” I’m sure Freud and Jung would both say, “Yes!” There underlying beliefs for doing so might differ, but they would agree on the point I’m sure.

So I find myself thinking about the how honestly I am answering the reflective questions. I have found myself typing words on a page about goals and reflections and asking, “Is this really true? It seems so trite, so shallow.” I feel like I’m getting the words out, but questioning their connectedness to my deeper self. It feels strange to say in five years, “I will be participating in my Masters in IT in Education” when I am struggling to figure out how I pay my bills next week. Mind you, this is probably they whole point of the exercise to get me out of my immediate focus and dream about a bigger picture.

Maslow talks about his ideal of a Self-Actualised Individual that can live in the moment and take childlike delight in new things constantly being imbued with joy of new things discovered and having an immediate connection with their emotions. I can say, “I’m not there yet”.

One of the readings in the unit talked about how we define ourselves by what we are not or what we do not want to be. So what do I not want to be? Closed off, closed minded, disconnected, dogmatic, jargon spewing, thoughtless rhetoric junkie.

I find I can also define myself at least by a few things I am as well. I am a white male on a reasonable income in a society that values knowledge, decisiveness and action, goals to be recognised and achieved, hurdles to be jumped and rationality and coolness in the face of peril. I have learned through the trials of the school yard and the scorn of my peers to not show my emotions too openly or reveal my heart to freely. For unfortunately, like many boys growing up today, to show emotion is still a weakness and to be a man is to suck it up and keep on going.

I have learned to analyse and understand others positions and backgrounds and look beyond the pain immediately rendered and to empathise with my fellow travelers in this life. To a degree this has given me some very useful skills, one of which is to keep a cool head in conflict; accept that some things are beyond my fault, blame or control and therefore not worth adding to my baggage; that to understand is to be able to forgive though not forget; that forgiveness is always about the forgiver and not the forgiven.

The other side of the coin is to a degree my thoughts and emotion can sometimes be divorced from each other. I know that sometimes I analyse the pain I feel at a harsh word rather than feel the pain or watch from behind my eyes as I enjoy a moment. It is sometimes a strange self that makes up me, am I the watcher or the watchee? I don’t know, both at the same time is my guess.

This is not to say I don’t feel or live in the moment, I do as much as I am able. However, I find my joys are quiet joys as is my sadnesses. A small smile on my lips means deeper contentment and enjoyment than a deep belly laugh in the company of strangers. My griefs to a stranger may come out as aloofness. It’s not, I’m just wearing the face I have so I can deal with things in my own space. It has taken time overcome some of the conditioning of my past; to look at myself honestly; to gather friends I talk to and trust, that will grieve with me when I need, but also encourage, exhort and celebrate with in triumphs. And before anyone plays the depression card, I’m not. I happen to be having a moment of reflection that is all.

The walls I have worn externally to survive exist both in and out. The public world of display and the ones I have used to protect me inside. I say all this because to really understand myself as a learner, I am coming to the conclusions that I need to understand me as a person. I need to come from a place that knows where my own world views can impede my grasping a foreign concepts and know on which assumptions I base my thinking. There are beliefs I hold that I won’t change and there are some I will give on, but I need to know which ones are which. I may only discover them as I come face to face with new concepts and thoughts. I have to be honest enough within my own mind to know all these things exist.

The only way that I can come to a place of learning where the gaps are in my world view are filled is to be willing to drop my internal walls to myself and my feelings. Not that this is a bad thing, it isn’t. I really see that I can’t start learning from without until I start learning from within as well.

Heavy boots and communication

I’ve had my day made by the strangest of articles, Heavy Boots. I’m positively happy and have had my world view restored again. Before you tell me I have a skewed world view, you may be right. I subscribe to the belief that people are people are people and people are people everywhere.

Ok, back to this little gem. For those not willing to read the article: it outlines a question posed in a class, “If a pen is dropped will it fall to the moon or float away?”. The answer is fall, but more slowly. What the writer discovered was that people are quite willing to belief that astronauts stayed on the moon because they wore heavy boots and that the pen would float away. The article is worth the read, if only for the amusement factor.

It does raise a real conundrum for educators though. We all interpret the world through our own filters and lenses that we build up through our experiences in life. The idea that heavy boots were responsible for our astronauts not floating away did not phase the philosophy class one iota. In the words of the miscellaneous author, “It was not part of their world view.” They could not understand why the world did not work this way even though at some point they would have learned the basics of gravity. It simply did not figure in their world. This strange happenstance is not unique, but affects every single discussion we join.

The idea is not a new one. A great saying is, “People do not hear what you say. They hear what they think you said!” It is rule one in Communication 101. People filter what you say through their experiences and understanding. For instance it is no good telling a colour-blind man that the sky is blue, if he sees purple. He will not understand your point of view because it does not work within his own world view.

Sometimes the difference in world views between the speaker and receiver is great enough that meaningful dialog is impossible. However if we seek to understand the position of person to whom we are communicating with we can adjust to find the point we can shift their views just that little bit. So how do we get there?

Seek first to understand

“People don’t care what you know until they know that you care.”

There are millions of experts and gurus in the world. Half of them live on Twitter. If you don’t believe me, check for yourself Some have great knowledge, some know the esoteric ways of the DVD Recorder and some make it up as they go along. The ones successful at getting you to listen (not necessarily the ones who know what they are talking about) are the ones who seem to understand where you are coming from. They make some connection with you and seem to be speaking to your need.

We as educators don’t need to be flim-flam men and women to reach this same connection with our students. The easiest way to reach the connection is to listen to what our students are telling us. It has nothing to do with what we say and everything to do with how we hear. It is a little thing called empathy and can do wonders on kicking down the pedestals on which we sometimes stand. I include myself on this list.

Our students have their own experiences and hassles, dramas, prejudices and emotions that they are working through, dealing with and filtering through. If we don’t have some idea of where they are standing, we have know way of knowing how to take them to where they need to be.

Walk a mile in these heavy boots

Once we have an idea of where they stand, we need to connect to them in a way that they can accept. Talking aerodynamics to a soccer player is potentially unhelpful and probably useless. Yes aerodynamics affect the ball in amazing ways, but talking about the Bernoille principle won’t help him put the ball in the net. Describing how the air moves around the ball when he kicks it and show him slow motion videos of the rotation and how spin affects the ball might.

People generally know when you are talking down to them or at them. The easiest way to achieve this is by over complicating things or oversimplifying.   Match your message to the marketplace and the market may listen.

Know thy stuff and make sense

Most people have some form of garbage meter in their brains. They will know when you are making it up as you go along.

We’ve all seen lecturers and teachers derailed by an errant comment. It can be really funny watch, but a nightmare to live. It also kills your credibility and makes it really hard to get back to the world view moving.

The easiest way to avoid it is: if you don’t know it, don’t say it. Get back them later after you check it out. Know what you are talking about and prepare. Structure things in a way that can be received by your audience.

Avoiding confusing explanations can also help. A rule of thumb I use is, “If I can’t finish a sentence without a breath. I’ve probably confused the heck out of my listener.” Take a breath, slow down and work through the explanation logically and be ready to expand on a point and break it down further if your listener doesn’t understand.

Listen again

Never stop listening. People will often tell you if they don’t get it. Ask questions and obtain feedback from your students. They will let you know. If their answers are garbled or don’t make sense, you probably have a clash of the world views happening and it’s time to take a different tack.

Reflective listening can be a great way to get the learner moving towards the right idea. Listen to what the student says and reflect back what they say to them either verbatim or paraphrased whilst giving them full attention. Ask questions to get them to expand on what they are thinking. You can then affirm where they have it right and either talk to the logic gap or have them fill the logic gap themselves by asking further questions.

By moving away from your world and into theirs you make a connection. The connection you make helps them move forward and may even move you further along on your learning journey. Don’t be afraid to use your ears as they can be your greatest tool.

Let me know what you think. How do you overcome the Heavy Boots syndrome with your students? How do you go about understanding your learners’ world views? Leave me a comment here or Tweet me @BradStokes. I’d love to hear what you think.

Start Writing Now: Overcome your fears

One of the biggest barriers for people writing is the dreaded writer’s block. With blogging, twitter and status feeds the illness strikes just as hard and just as often. Unfortunately the added pressure of immediate feedback and putting what you write out there in the wild only compounds the problem. So in the end new bloggers and posters end up having to confront the other demons of writing, self doubt and fear, much sooner than those that write in secret.

There are a few ways these canny little beasts surface, but the main ones I see are:

• What if someone criticises my work
• What if someone criticises me
• What do I have that is worth sharing
• I’m not an expert
• How will I come up with new ideas to write about

Let’s confront number 1 and 2 straight up. I saw a fantastic Tweet of a quote by Bill Cosby today, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” I’d agree. If what you are saying is worth saying, you with attract people who will disagree with you. Don’t be worried by that people can only affect you if you let them. Listen to the people you respect and value and let their feedback be your guide. Even then, if they disagree you don’t need to change your posts, but you may need to think through their arguments. Best case scenario, the people who don’t agree with you may force you to clarify and refine your position and may be the source for your next writing expedition.

Don’t take critisim personally, most times it won’t be personal. People are just responding to something on the page. If THEY want to make it personal by attacking you, they DON’T count as critics and can be ignored. If they argue against your IDEAs, think through what they are saying and respond when you have enough distance to reply in a constructive manner.

So rejoice when you attract critics, you will be attracting others too!

Fear of criticism stops some. Fear of not having something to share, not having something worthy to share and not being able to continue to share stops many, many more. Here are my thoughts on how to overcome these obstacles.

“I have nothing worthwhile”

Well, yes you do. Unless you are lying entombed beneath the earth, you are doing things everyday that you can record. Of course if you are into caving, being entombed in the earth would be something worth writing about. There are people in your type of situation the would like to know how you face it. This statement is true for the educator or the fitness fanatic. It is true for a depressive and an entrepreneur.

We like to know we are not alone. We like to know that some people think deep thoughts for us to ponder and we like to know that the dog next door bothers you as much as it does me. People are people are people everywhere. And people everywhere need people in order to feel like a we rather than a me all alone.

You have in you something to write. Recently at my work I was chatting with a colleague about the news a trainee that was to be nominated for a trainee award. It’s really exciting for the people involved, but I didn’t realise the amount of paperwork and legwork involved in the nomination. It was interesting. I’ve suggested that the colleague blog the entire process, because I know others would be similarly interested. Before the suggestion my colleague thought that they had nothing to write about. It turns out they have some great content material. Chances are so do you.

“Why should someone listen to me?”

This one is the rehash of the “I’m not an expert” files. Let’s just address that fear with some great quotes on experts:

• “An Ex-Spurt is just a drip under pressure”
• “Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.” Dr. Laurence J. Peter
• “An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field.” Niels Bohr
• “An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing.”
• “An expert is somebody who is more than 50 miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides.” Edwin Meese III
  

Let’s not be too worried about being an expert. I’m not an expert, guru or wonderkid. I’m someone who is happy to learn everyday and will continue to learn everyday. Expert isn’t a title you should EVER give yourself. If you have it applied to you, accept it with grace and don’t be too quick to believe it lest you get lost in your belief.

What you are is someone who has an interest in a field. Even if that field is the dog next door, you have the right to write about it. Defend your ideas and engage others, wax lyrical about the things that interest you. Find opportunities to ask others their opinions and have fun. That is all you need to do. If you are wrong or get a fact wrong, fix it up and keep writing. The trick is don’t take yourself too seriously and keep writing. You have something in you to write, write it.

“I can’t find new stuff to write about”

Material to write about comes into the inspiration area and it’s a little harder. Some of the advice I have tried to follow is to write everyday regardless. I admit I probably write more coal then diamonds. I still try to write and I’m not worried if it is one paragraph in a journal or an article. It does not matter.

Remember what you write doesn’t have be online for the world to see, you can keep this offline. I recommend there are certain things you keep to yourself including:

• Personal details that identify specific people and situations. If it is a private matter, keep it private.
• every single bit of your thoughts and letting it “all hang out” - some things you don’t want out there
• Public feuds with the rest of the world though these can be interesting to watch
• Anything that will damage you now and in the future unless ethics, conviction or faith compel you to speak up. Even then pause first.

It’s your call and write what you will, but write. Quantity will turn into quality if you keep at it. Your writing style will improve with time and the topics you write about will become more varied. Don’t doubt yourself. Write about the small things in your life or the big things in the world. Write about the news articles that grab your attention or the scout hall down the road that is run down and saddens you. Just write about anything that hits you and you will find new and good stuff. If you can’t start a blog, start responding to others. Start writing and keep writing.

It’s a journey that you can grow to love, because what you write about is less important than the journey itself. What will you write about? I can’t tell you and I shouldn’t because it’s your journey to live.

If you don’t write, start. If you need a place to start, let me know what you think as comment or catch me on Twitter. I want to hear what you have to say.